Season 1, Episode 7
July 29, 2011
To appear older, Chyna wants a designer book bag just like Lexi's. Darryl tells Chyna the bag is too expensive and won't buy it for her - so she earns enough money to buy the bag herself.
The episode begins with Chyna and Cameron in the kitchen. Chyna is playing her trumpet towards Cameron and he sticks an apple in the bell of it to get Chyna to stop playing. He tells Chyna that he's trying to work. Cameron found a "sucker" to pay him to do his homework for him. Chyna laughs and says, "You're coloring in a dinosaur." Cameron says that the kid is in kindergarten and Chyna points out that Cameron wasn't even staying within the lines. "You get what you pay for," Cameron says.
Next, Darryl come home from work with a box in his hand. Chyna greets him and says that he's home early. Darryl says he was supposed to interrogate a suspect in a strangler case, but when he went to the bathroom the suspect escaped, so now he "get's to watch his game shows". Chyna then asks what's in the box. Darryl says it's a surprise for her. He asks Chyna if she knows how she's been wanting one of those Free-Village Designer Book bags. Chyna gets excited thinking her father got her one, but he didn't. He's says that he got something better. Chyna looks in the box and pulls out a filthy, disgusting bag. Chyna asks "How is this better?". Darryl says "Because it was free".
As Darryl is walking into the kitchen he reveals that he got it from the evidence locker at his job at the police station. Chyna then notices a big red stain on the front of the bag and asks if it's blood. Darryl replies saying "Of course not! I wouldn't give you a murder bag. That's an armed robbery bag." He says the stain was from an exploding die pack. Darryl tells Chyna that she could just say thank you. He spent a lot of time combing through a lot of creepy stuff to find her the bag. Cameron then asks "Is this how you got mom's wedding ring?". Darryl tells him not to change the subject. Chyna then pleads for a Free-Village Bag, saying that every girl in school has one and she'll even chip in a little. Darryl says "Absolutely not. No child of mine is gonna walk around with some over-priced status symbol". He says they should call them $300-Village and see how many they sell then. Cameron asks why Darryl didn't get him anything. Darryl says it's because girls are obsessed with fitting it, but the great thing about Cameron is that no matter what he does, he'll never fit in. The scene then cuts to the theme song.
We now see Chyna at school the following day. Her, Olive and Fletcher are all sitting down at the lunch table. Chyna is showing Olive and Fletcher the red stain on the new bag that her dad gave her. Lexi then walks in and says hello to Chyna. Lexi fake compliments her on her new bag by saying that she loves it. She then insults it by asking "Did the bag lady wake up when you took it out from under her head?". Chyna gets upset when she realizes that Lexi has two Free-Village bags. Lexi explains that one is for her books and the other one is for her make-up. The make-up bag was visibly heavier than the bag with her books in it. Lexi proceeds into the cafeteria and is never seen again throughout the episode.
Fletcher then tells Chyna and Olive to look at what's at the bottom of his pudding cup. Chyna says if it's another rat part, she does not wanna see it. Fletcher says it's ten pudding points. Olive says she remembers seeing something about that on the label a few weeks ago. Chyna asks what'd it say and Olive begins reciting everything she read on the back of the label. Fletcher then uses his A.N.T. Pad to check the pudding company's website. The website said that once you get 1000 points, you can redeem them for a $10 cash card. Olive says to buy a Free-Nation bag all you need to do is eat 3,000 pudding cups. Chyna says after that she won't need the bag. She can just carry her books in her roles of fat.
Chyna then sees two girls throwing away their pudding cups and realizes that if they collect all of the thrown away pudding cups from the trash, they'll rack up points like crazy. Fletcher says it's a great idea and Chyna tells him to dive into the trash and get them. Fletcher asks why he has to do it. Chyna says because she doesn't want to and neither does Olive. "Well, as long as it's fair", Fletcher said. He then dives into the trash can.
The next scene shows Chyna walking into school with a Free-Village bag. A girl named Hayley has the same bag and Chyna compliments her on it as well as a girl name Annabella. The school mascot, Wacky the Wolf, then walks by and Chyna says that they're twins. Chyna proceeds in to the A.N.T. Farm and tell Fletcher and Olive to check out her Free-Village Book bag. She then begins listing all of the things it's good for. Fletcher asks if it's a book bag, then why aren't her books in it. Chyna then explains why. (see memorable quotes for a full explanation)
The next scene cuts to Chyna's house with her and Cameron in the kitchen again. Chyna asks Cameron how the kindergarten homework is going and her says not good. He can only find 7 of the 10 things wrong with the picture he was working on. Chyna says he should really give the kid a discount. Darryl then comes home from work with another surprise, but this time it's for Cameron. He says it's a portable music player, but it was really just a torn out car stereo. Cameron asks "Doesn't it need speakers? And a car?". Darryl then tells how things are never good enough for kids these days. He said we he was a kid, whatever the neighbors were playing was what he listened to. Cameron then says he's going to throw the gift out of the window. "So you're not going to use your gift? At least Chyna uses her's", Darryl said.
Darryl then picks up Chyna's bag and realizes that she's been hiding a new new bag inside of her old new bag. He puts it back and Chyna walks in. She greets her father and he asks her how her day was. "Anything new?", he said trying to get Chyna to confess. Chyna told him about the budget cuts at school. They've now combined French class with art. It's now call "Fart". Darryl then asks Chyna how she's enjoying her new bag. Chyna says that she loves her new bag, but her father doesn't know that she's talking about the Free-Village bag. She says she loves it so much that she wishes she were a bag and that bags could get married because she would marry it, but sadly science isn't ready for that.
Darryl then make a phone call to his police friend, Officer 3-9. We then see a vertically challenged cop "roughing up" someone who double parked. Darryl tells him that he's worried Chyna may be shoplifting. He then asks if he will go undercover. The next scene shows Officer 3-9 walking into the A.N.T. Farm dresses as a little kid. He's very short, so he sort of blends in. He says he's the new kid asks where he sits.After that we see Officer 3-9 sitting on a chair in the A.N.T. Farm. He then pours an unknown powder substance into a sippy cup and drinks it. Chyna, Olive and Fletcher walk in and greet him. Fletcher asks Chyna who the new kid is and Chyna says she doesn't know. Chyna then questions whether or not Officer 3-9 is drinking out of a sippy cup. They then go over and introduce themselves. Officer 3-9 then tells them that his name is Charlie Brown. Fletcher says that's an unusual name and "Charlie Brown" replies saying "Look who's talking, Fletcher". Olive then reveals that Fletcher's middle name is Pumpernickel.
Chyna then asks "Charlie Brown" what his gift is. "Charlie Brown" thinks that she means gift as in a present. He instead offers them cash. Fletcher tries to take it, but Chyna won't let him. Chyna explains that everyone in the A.N.T. Program has an advanced natural talent. Fletcher says that his is art, Chyna's is music and Olive's is answering questions no one's asking. Olive then says that she's really good at it. As "Charlie Brown" is about to say his talent, the scene cuts to a small montage of Officer 3-9 beating up a bunch of criminals. It then returns to the scene and "Charlie Brown" says that his talent is dancing. Olive then asks to see his dancing. He then begins dancing crazily and Olive says he's good.The next scene show Cameron back at the Parks Residence sleeping on the couch. Darryl hits him on the back telling him to wake up. Cameron gets up and stretches, but doesn't realize he has a pencil stuck to his face. Cameron says he wasn't sleeping; he was just doing homework. Darryl removes the pencil from Cameron's face and says he got Cameron a new bike. However, the bike is shown to be very old, with no tires. Cameron asks where they are and Darryl says probably in Tijuana by now. "You now what? Next time you should just get me a card saying I don't love you", Cameron said. Darryl jokingly asked if they made those. He said if Cameron wants something then he can go pick out something himself because he is done trying to please him. Cameron said he'll go tomorrow because he has all that homework to finish. He then begins drawing a hand turkey.
We then see Chyna the following day. Her, Olive and Fletcher are back at the lunch table. However, this time the table is filled with pudding cups, giving the impression that they've eaten them all. Fletcher says that he feels so sick, and then asks Olive to pass him another one. "Charlie Brown" sits down with them and ask what they're up to. Fletcher says they're working on something they call "Operation Sticky Fingers". He then begins to explain the operation, but Chyna kicks him in mid-sentence to get him to stop talking. Chyna lies and says that they're having a pudding eating contest and asks "Charlie Brown" if he wants to try and go for the record. He says that his "mommy" told him to cut back on sweets. He then gets a phone call and leaves.
Chyna then tells Fletcher not to tell anyone else about the pudding points, because they want all the stuff for themselves. "Can't we tell Charlie Brown?", Olive said. "He's not afraid to use a sippy cup, he bust out those awesome dance and I think he wears aftershave". Chyna said she doesn't trust him. She thinks he's lying about his age. Fletcher agrees saying there's no way he's eleven. He's eight tops.
At that point we see Chyna, Olive and Fletcher walking down the hallway with trash bags filled with empty pudding cups. Fletcher notices "Charlie Brown" talking to an older woman. Olive says that must be his mom, the one who won't let him eat sweets. "Charlie Brown" then kisses the woman. Chyna says she's giving him some sugar now. "Charlie Brown" says he needs to get back to work and the woman leaves. "Charlie Brown" then get a phone call and answers it by saying "Officer 3-9 here". Chyna then realizes he's a cop. "I knew he wasn't an ANT", she said. He then says "Darryl" and they realize he's talking to Chyna's dad. "Charlie Brown" tells Darryl about "Operation Sticky Fingers" and how he's working about infiltrating the mission. Olive says she feels betrayed and can't believe he would lie to them. "You think you know someone after a half a week of school, Olive says. Chyna says they're going to teach him and her father a lesson.
At that point, Chyna, Olive and Fletcher are back in the A.N.T. Farm. "Carlie Brown" walks in and they act as if they're talking about going to rob a house. They begin acting "tough" and Olive says that they can't risk having a snitch around. Chyna says he could be useful to them and they him if he wants in. "Charlie Brown" tells them to sign him up. Chyna says they need someone to sneak in through the doggy door and he's the only one who can fit. Olive says it's all going down tonight. Chyna says they'll be rich by this time tomorrow.
We later see "Charlie Brown" talking to Darryl in an alley. Darryl asks him what's going on at the school. "Charlie Brown" begins talking about things such as his classes and grades. Darryl wants to know what Chyna is up to. "Charlie Brown" says that he's joined their "little crime ring" and they're planning on robbing a house. Darryl says that can't be right and there is no way his little girl is robbing a house. "Charlie Brown" says they told him themselves. Darryl then asks who's house they're robbing. "Charlie Brown" says they won't tell him yet because he's the new guy, but he agrees to call Darryl when he's in the house and he can come and see for himself. A thief then runs by the both of them with a stolen Free-Village bag and they laugh at him because he has a purse.The next scene shows Chyna, Olive and "Charlie Brown" waiting on Chyna's porch. Fletcher finally shows up dressed in a cat suit and Chyna asks him if he understands the term "cat burglar". He said obviously he's the only one who does. Chyna then tells "Charlie Brown" to go in through the doggy door, make sure the coast is clear, then let them in. "Charlie Brown" says "will do" and crawls through the door. Olive asks Chyna if she's sure "Charlie Brown" doesn't know this is her house because Chyna's last name is on the doormat and the mailbox. Chyna says he's a really bad detective. "Charlie Brown" then calls Darryl. Darryl is upstairs in the bathroom and doesn't know that Charlie Brown is in the house. He asks if "Charlie Brown" actually broke into the house. "Charlie Brown" said he's not really sure why Chyna picked that place because there was nothing in there worth stealing; just a bunch of junk. Darryl asks if he has an address. "Charlie Brown" says yes, but accidentally knocks down a picture frame. Darryl then tells him he thinks there's someone in the house. "Charlie Brown" says he thinks there's somebody in the house. "Charlie Brown" says he'll call Darryl back and tries to hide. Darryl and "Charlie Brown" end up running into each other in the dark and shock each other with tasers. They both begin flopping around on the floor like dead fish. Chyna, Olive and Fletcher walk in and Chyna asks her dad if he's okay. Darryl says no because he just got tasered in the kneecap. Darryl then says Chyna is in big trouble. Fletcher says he thinks he saw a mouse and has to go. Olive then says "Oh no! My cat got out" and they both run out of the house. Darryl then asks Chyna what she's doing breaking into her own house. Chyna says she was teaching him a lesson. Darryl then asks Chyna to explain why she was hiding a new new bag inside of her old new bag. "I bought it with gift cards I got from collecting pudding cups from the garbage at school. Darryl says he's proud of Chyna and her knew she would never steal. However, she still lied about getting the new bag. Chyna says she knows she shouldn't have lied, but she's the only girl in school she doesn't have one and she felt like she stuck out enough as it is. Darryl tells her that she sticks out because she's special and beautiful just like him.
The ending scene shows Darrly watching a game on TV. Cameron comes in and Darryl asks him if he picked up something at the evidence lockup. Cameron says he didn't get something for himself he got something for Darryl. Darryl looked surprised and then Cameron reminds him of how he always wanted a convertible. Darryl looks more surprised then Cameron brings out a steering wheel and only the steering wheel. Cameron then jokes and says "Drive safe". Thus ending the episode.
Fletcher: So, if it's a book-bag, why aren't your books in it?
Chyna: Oh, well because most of the room in my new new bag is being taken up by the old new bag that my dad gave me. My dad would go nuts if he knew I got this new new bag, so I leave the house using the old new bag and hide the new new bag inside it. Then, when I'm on the bus I take the new new bag out of the old new bag and hide the old new bag inside of the new new bag. Then I take the old new bag out of the new new bag and hide the new new bag back inside the old new bag.
- China Anne McClain as Chyna Parks
- Sierra McCormick as Olive Doyle
- Jake Short as Fletcher Quimby
- Stefanie Scott as Lexi Reed
- Carlon Jeffery as Cameron Parks
- Finesse Mitchell as Darryl Parks
- Mark Povinelli as Officer 3-9 (Charlie Brown)
- Christian Campos as Wacky the Wolf (not credited)
- Stefanie Scott as Lexi Reed appeared in only one scene of this episode.
- This episode was viewed by 3.1 million viewers on its premiere.
- It is revealed that Fletcher's middle name is Pumpernickel.
- This episode has two different endings.
Just months after the episode aired, Disney Channel began airing a rerun version that had major edits to the episode. This was most likely due to the scenes where Officer 3-9 commits police brutality, beating many criminals without rest. Notable edits include:
- When Officer 3-9 captured a criminal suspected of double parking, he yells out "That'll teach you to double park, dirtbag!" and proceeds to deliver a final blow before answering Darryl's call. In the edited version, this line was cut and shortened to "That'll teach you, dirtbag!" and with the final blow cut. The scene supermoised over by a cut scene of a puzzled Darryl listening to the commotion on the phone.
- When Chyna asks what natural talent Officer 3-9 has, this is followed by a montage of clips of him committing police brutality against criminals. In the edited version, the montage was reduced to only two clips, and music was added for reasons unexplained.
- When Darryl comes home in the beginning of the episode, he says, "Now I get to watch my game shows." When he says that, he is pushing Chyna out of the way. When the camera cuts to a different angle, he is pushing her out of the way again.
- When Olive is talking to Chyna at lunch, she calls the "Free-Village" bags "Free Nation" bags.
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